When you think of Kat Slater, you see a fiercely devoted, sad, yet loving figure; you picture leather boots and leopard print, and you picture the amazing performances of Jessie Wallace, the “YES I AM!” queen.
When you think of EastEnders, you see a program that revolves on community and family, with gritty plotlines centered around sometimes awkward subjects and emotionally stirring moments.
Combining all of this for a story that centers on the very real problem of domestic violence against children has resulted in a compelling and heartbreaking examination of the terrible situation Kat has found herself in as a mother.
Kat, a heroine whose own upbringing was severely marred by abuse, is the quintessential strong, resilient, and influential woman in soap operas; she is the kind of character that becomes ingrained in the genre’s history books.
You will probably regret messing with Kat as an opponent. With Kat on your side, you’ve already won half of the war. She is a giant of feistiness, joy, and fury as a character.
Does that imply that she cannot experience child abuse as a result of it? Despite the protests that “Kat would never let Tommy get away with that!” this is a fallacy that is as far from the truth as possible and demonstrates why it is so important that popular television programs like EastEnders continue to raise awareness of violence against women.
Unfortunately, some people still have preconceived notions about how an abuse victim should seem and behave on television, despite the fact that soap operas have portrayed a wide range of abuse-related situations throughout the years. Likewise, what they should not do, that is, which characters would “never allow abuse to occur.”
“Letting abuse happen” or “letting someone get away with that” are not concepts that exist.
Furthermore, there is no such thing as the “right” victim of abuse.
EastEnders has been sowing the seeds of Tommy’s steadily deteriorating behavior pattern for the past year and a half. Tommy is portrayed well by the talented young actor Sonny Kendall.
Much of what was frequently attributed to adolescent anxiety and the lingering consequences of growing up in a traumatized environment began to manifest.
Have any parents ever had to deal with a teenage child’s sudden yelling, smashing objects, leaving abruptly, threatening them, or playing mind games?
Only recently has Kat been forced to confront the harsh reality that Tommy’s actions are beyond the realm of teenage tantrums and that no parent ever wants to see their kid as a monster of any type.
This is not anything to laugh about. It is not a sign of weakness to want the best for Tommy, because most of us are unable to respond to and control violent behaviors like violence and damage.
The fact that the abuser is typically someone the victim loves and who is meant to love them contributes to the anguish of domestic violence.
As some members of the “I was smacked as a child, and I turned out okay” camp are contending, it’s not a question of “oh, just give the lad a good thrashing!”
No matter how much we viewers want to defend and fight for Kat, the worst thing we could do would be to respond to violence with more violence.
It’s a terrible show, and the fans’ rage at Tommy is evident and mostly well-founded—Sonny does a fantastic job portraying him, and there are moments when I hate the child myself!
However, this doesn’t mean that Kat is immune to abuse just because we’ve seen her deal justice to men who have cheated on her or women who have gotten into cat fights with her.
It is helpful to draw comparisons between her and her quieter, more restrained sister Little Mo, who is also an abuse survivor, not to suggest that “Kat is much stronger, she’d never end up there,” but rather to highlight the fact that anybody may become a victim, regardless of their background or how others see them.
Kat’s disgusting circumstances are further complicated by the fact that Tommy is the one person in the world who she needs and wants to protect above all others. She alternates between being traumatized by the thought of losing him and being terrified of him and his potential.
The majority of her time will be spent worrying how he is feeling, hating herself, doubting her ability to be a mother, and asking herself, “Where did I go wrong?” as a number of viewers of the show are incorrectly claiming.
There are several nuances specific to Tommy and his circumstances that make up where he has ended up and, in fact, where he may go from here. There is no predetermined pattern for who may become a perpetrator, just as there is no established pattern for who can become a victim of abuse.
There is so much more to it than “the Kat of old would never have taken that!” and “he needs a bit of discipline.”
This dilemma is being brilliantly explored by EastEnders: how does a parent deal with a child who may also be a monster?
In their storyline about sibling sex abuse, Hollyoaks currently tackles this question brilliantly. The parent, Darren Osborne, is unable to look at his son, the abuser, but is consumed by the pain of knowing that he will live with the consequences of his actions for the rest of his life.
It is incorrect to watch a TV drama and draw a clear line in the sand about what Kat or Darren should have known, should have done, and should have disowned because there are just too many nuances in parent-child relationships, especially when it comes to abuse.
Kat the gregarious, boisterous, and adored local and Kat the troubled, traumatized, and confined mother are the same person.
Both are legitimate, and none of the several traits can make the other one invalid.
EastEnders and its soap opera counterparts must never cease bringing the difficult topic to the forefront, even though there is still some disbelief that even a woman who appears to be the most feisty may experience abuse.
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